Counting Blessings and Wrinkles

That's me with the Strawberry Shortcake doll. I was three. I think it was my birthday, and I think the doll was my birthday present. I'm sitting in my Granny's lap (my dad's grandmother), and next to us my older brother is sitting in my Memaw's lap (my dad's mother).

Today is my '29th' birthday. I say 29th because that's when I stopped counting. Let's just say a considerable amount of time has passed since the above photo was taken. :)

I've always loved to sing. My mother talks about it like it was such a blessing to her listening to me sing almost since before I could talk. She says I sound just like her grandmother. My brothers, however, probably considered my love to sing as more of a curse. :) Anyway, one of the songs I used to sing often was Count Your Blessings. You know the one...."Count your blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done...."

Well, I have gained many blessings in the time that has passed, my husband, my three children, my in-law family (both my husband's family and my brothers' wives), and many wonderful friends. I've also been blessed with so many amazing life experiences and material possessions that if I were to try to detail it all in a list, to 'count my blessings,' I would be typing well into the night and would still not even begin to cover it all. My God has been SO good to me. There are many days I get overwhelmed at His goodness, and sadly many more days that I take each and every one of those blessings for granted. Today, I am thankful that I'm here, celebrating another birthday with my beautiful family.

Even a child can count their blessings. There is something, however, only living can teach you, and that is to count the wrinkles with the blessings. Along with all the people and things I've gained in my life, there have been some losses, too. One being that wonderful woman holding me in that picture, my Granny. My very first memory, the FIRST thing I can remember in my life is her holding me. I was still in diapers. Her voice was mesmerizing. I remember listening to her read books and tell stories. She had the best stories. Just sitting in her living room playing with tinker toys while she watched the Braves game (something she rarely missed) is a fond memory. She died my freshman year of college after living a long, full life. There are still days I ache to talk to her, but there is such hope and peace knowing I'll see her again. I'm very thankful that I had an entire childhood with her in my life, and heaven seems sweeter knowing she's there.

I've had to let go of some dreams and plans for my life, too. Every now and then I get sad at the thought of having given them up, but when thinking about what I gave them up for, I'm usually reminded that God's plan for my life is more generous than my own. I gave up my dream for full time mission work to marry a man who is both my knight in shining armor and the stone that keeps me sharp. We've struggled and hurt and come through together. I can say with all honesty that I wouldn't trade any of the storm for clear skies because so much of that struggle made me who I am today. Looking back at myself before I married him, I often cringe at how ridiculously immature and ill equipped for any kind of service I really was. One of my favorite C.S. Lewis quotes is repeated by Ravi Zacharias like this: "In loves service, the wounded soul serves best." Oh, how true those words are to me now.

Jackson's diagnosis would be one of those 'wrinkles', too. It is definitely not something I would have chosen for my son or our family, and when I heard the doctor say those words, autism spectrum disorder, I would never have thought I could consider it a blessing. However, I've learned so much about myself and the provision and nurture of my God because of that diagnosis that while I will continue to work to ensure Jackson has the best chance at a life on his own, I wouldn't trade this journey or the awesome people we've met along the way for anything.

Every stretch mark and scar, every gray hair and wrinkle (yes, they are there already!) serve as reminders of the life I've lived. Every birthday is another chance to reflect and remember those moments and choose to live this life well. So, here's to many more laugh lines and age spots. May I learn to wear them well and never forget the blessings and struggles they stand for.