Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Freeze Your Own Pizza


Jackson LOVES pizza. When I was first trying to figure out his allergy issues, I learned out how to make yummy safe pizza, but we kept finding ourselves at birthday parties, family gatherings and other times where we needed safe pizza but I didn't have 2 hours to make it. Then I learned the secret to making and freezing your own pizza at home. Putting the cheese on first.

First the dough.

3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/3 cups warm water
1 tbsp sugar
1 packet yeast (2 1/4 tsp if you buy the jars)
3 tbsp olive oil
1-3 tsp garlic juice

Combine the flour and salt. Make a well and add the water, sugar and yeast. Once the yeast dissolves, add the olive oil and garlic juice. Mix until dough forms, then knead until smooth and elastic. If it's sticky, add more flour. If it's dry, add more water. Brush with olive oil, cover in a bowl and allow it to rise for about an hour, until doubled in size. This recipe makes about 2 pounds of dough. I can usually get 5 thin personal sized crusts.

I know that a couple of major chains use garlic juice in their crust recipes. So, that might sound weird, but it didn't come out of nowhere. I put 3 tsp in, but you can use more, less or omit altogether depending on your tastes.

Also, most major delivery chains roll their dough in a corn meal mixture. This does add flavor and makes the crust brown better. I do it for the grown ups since we put things like mushrooms, bell peppers and onions on ours. If you don't have a corn allergy, it does make a difference, so you will probably want to use it.

After the dough has risen, separate it into little dough balls, in my case 5. Roll the dough out with a rolling pin first, then place the crusts onto oiled paper plates. I use olive oil. Since you're freezing, you want something you can freeze it on and remove. If you oil them just right (not too much), the pizza shouldn't stick, but even if it does, you can peel the paper plate off the bottom. You just need something to hold the shape while it freezes. If you want to freeze a full size pizza, you can buy those aluminum pizza pans. Just remove it before you cook it. Those things and frozen pizza together make for yucky crust.

Brush your crusts with butter or olive oil, something to help with the browning process later.



Sprinkle a fairly thick layer of cheese. Then spoon your tomato sauce over the cheese. Spread carefully trying not to let the tomato sauce touch the bottom crust. Don't be super picky, but try to keep the cheese on the bottom and the sauce on top. I sprinkle a little more cheese on top, some basil, and then add our toppings. Since these are usually personal pizzas for Jackson, I don't put veggies on top. Usually hand made sausage we get from a local meat market, ham and/or hot dogs cut like pepperoni (sounds weird, but he LOVES it). I don't know how veggies will freeze in a home freezer, but have fun with it. You never know what they'll eat.

When I've got the pizzas topped and ready to freeze, I try to create a level spot in my chest freezer to lay them out to freeze initially. Once they start to get hard, cover them with plastic wrap. When they've been in there for several hours, remove the paper plates and wrap individually with plastic wrap. I've used round cake boards dusted with a little bit of flour on the bottom of the pizza, and if you've got a stuffed freezer (like me), the boards really help keep the pizza from getting broken.

When you're ready for some pizza:

Preheat your oven to 500 degrees. Unwrap your pizza, brush the outside crust with melted butter or olive oil, place on a pizza stone or right on the oven rack. Cook for about 10 minutes or until the crust is golden brown. Keep in mind, you're not going to get the same golden brown they get from a gigantic pizza oven or brushing with oil, egg and rolling in corn meal, but it will be tasty. That's what really matters.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Holiday Hot Chocolate Bar


There's nothing quite like homemade hot chocolate.

Last Christmas I prepared a hot chocolate bar for my family's Christmas gathering. It was a big hit, and not really more difficult than bringing any other Holiday dish. The chocolate was the easy part. The hard part comes from making the fixin's. It has to be homemade for Jackson to be able to have it, and hot chocolate isn't really special without at least marshmallows and whipped cream.

The photo above is mine from another homemade hot chocolate day. I wish I had photos of the Holiday spread, but they seem to be lost in my digital back up folder. Maybe you can just picture it. I used a crock pot, plugged in on the kitchen counter bar. Laid out the fixin's on Holiday platters with mugs and spoons near the crock pot. It was 'make-your-own' fantastic.

Here's a photo from Food Network that might help you see what I'm talking about.



First the chocolate:

2 cups whole milk
2 cups whipping cream
1 pkg milk chocolate chips
2 Tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract (you want to use a really good kind like Rodelle)

In a large sauce pan, combine the milk, cream and sugar. Heat until very warm but don't boil. Add chocolate chips and stir until melted. Pour mixture into a crock pot and add vanilla. Turn the crock pot on high. This serves about 4 people. So, you might need to double or triple it depending on how many people will be at your gathering. Just make sure you have a big enough crock pot or you can keep another one cooking in the background. You'll also need a ladle to scoop it out into mugs.

The Marshmallows:

Alton Brown's recipe is the best I've found for marshmallows, and the easiest really. It is already egg free, but of course it has to be altered to be corn-free. So, here's my adapted version.

3 pkg unflavored gelatin
1 cup ice cold water, divided
1 1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup sugar syrup
(You can use Lyle's golden syrup or make your own, 2 C sugar, 3/4 C water, 1/4 tsp cream of tartar, dash of salt. Bring to boil, simmer with cover on for 3 minutes, cook uncovered until it reaches soft ball stage, around 235 degrees.)
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
Corn-free powdered sugar for dusting (365 Organic found at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's store brand)

Place the gelatin into the bowl of a stand mixer along with 1/2 cup of the water. Have the whisk attachment standing by.

In a small sauce pan combine the remaining 1/2 cup water, granulated sugar, sugar syrup and salt. Place over medium high heat, cover and allow to cook for 3 to 4 minutes. Uncover, clip a candy thermometer onto the side of the pan and continue to cook until the mixture reaches 240 degrees F, approximately 7 to 8 minutes. Once the mixture reaches this temperature, immediately remove from the heat.

Turn the mixer on low speed and, while running, slowly pour the sugar mixture down the side of the bowl into the gelatin mixture. Once you have added all of the syrup, increase the speed to high. Continue to whip until the mixture becomes very thick and is lukewarm, approximately 12 to 15 minutes. Add the vanilla during the last minute of whipping. While the mixture is whipping prepare the pan.

Grease a 13 by 9-inch metal baking pan. Add some powdered sugar and move around to completely coat the bottom and sides of the pan.

When ready, pour the mixture into the prepared pan, using a lightly oiled spatula for spreading evenly into the pan. Dust the top with enough powdered sugar to lightly cover. Allow the marshmallows to sit uncovered for at least 4 hours and up to overnight.

Turn the marshmallows out onto a cutting board and cut into 1-inch squares using a pizza wheel dusted with confectioners' sugar. I like to use small cookie cutters to cut them into fun shapes. Once cut, lightly dust all sides of each marshmallow with the remaining mixture, using additional if necessary. Store in an airtight container for up to 3 weeks.

And the Whipped Cream:

1 pint heavy whipping cream
6 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp vanilla

Pour the cream into the bowl and whip with a mixer until it begins to thicken. Add sugar one tbsp at a time then add vanilla. Mix until combined. Be careful not to overmix the cream or else will start to resemble butter rather than whipped cream. Make sure you refrigerate it until you're ready to use it. I beat the cream at my mother's house when we were ready to enjoy the chocolate.

I also had cinnamon in a little dish with a serving teaspoon (you could use cinnamon sticks, too), peppermints and homemade caramels (something I love in hot chocolate). The sky's the limit, though, and it makes for something fun and personal.

Easy Apple Pie Filling



Apple pie is one of those comfort foods that never loses it's appeal, at least for me. I could eat it year round, but there is something super yummy about apple pie during the Holidays. This is my recipe for apple pie filling. I think Julia Child's crust recipe is the best, but I've found that Pillsbury's refrigerated pie crusts (come in the red box, rolled into two tubes) are corn free. So, when I'm in a pinch I just use those.

Apple Pie Filling

3 Tbsp unsalted butter
1 tsp lemon juice
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup light brown sugar
5 apples (I use Gala. You want a sweet apple, but not a really soft one since you cook the filling before baking the pie. You could even buy the pre-sliced sweet apples and cut the peel off.)

Peel and slice your apples. I use a corer/slicer, then cut those slices in half. In a large saute pan (large enough to fit all those apples), melt the butter. Add the lemon juice, cinnamon and sugars. Stir to combine. Add apples and cook on medium/low heat until soft, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool some.

While the apples are cooling, preheat your oven to 425 degrees and prepare a 9 inch pie dish for baking. If you want to make your own crust, check out Julia's recipe. Lay one dough roll in the bottom of your pie dish. Pour apples into the dish, and add another dough roll on top. Pinch the dough edges together. Cut the excess off and use the tines of a fork to seal the edges. Cut slits in the center to vent. Bake for about 45 minutes or until the crust is golden brown. Wrap foil around the edges (not the whole pie) to prevent over browning. (The center always takes longer to brown than the edges.) I used to add the foil after the edges got brown, but I think it's actually easier to put the foil on first and leave it for about 25-30 minutes because you're working with a cool dish rather than a piping hot one.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Newest Food Discovery: Yellow Cake Mix



Making a cake without eggs is nearly impossible. There is really no substitute for the richness and rise the egg provides. Baking a cake from scratch using my parents corn-free eggs was pretty much my only option, but when I'm pressed for time or just don't feel like pulling everything out, a mix is so nice. I have looked for an egg and corn free cake mix only to be disappointed time and time again. I tried using corn free mixes and substituting the egg and ended up with an unrisen dense biscuit looking cake. I had success using an egg substitute using the Betty Crocker Gluten Free cake mix, but the taste was very different. Only Jackson and I would eat it.

I never stop looking, though. When I shop, I often will look for interesting products and check the labels to see if I can find something new. As I was picking up some baking needs, I noticed this adorable pink box. Right on the front it said, egg free. I picked it up looking to see if it was corn free, and it was. I looked at the directions and saw that it didn't even call for egg. So, I picked it up and decided I needed to try this mix to see if it was worth keeping around. 

Cherrybrook Kitchen Yellow Cake Mix 

I used the mix to make cupcakes for a Thanksgiving thing at Jackson's school, and he gobbled them up! They definitely didn't taste the same as the Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker cake mixes, but they rose well, browned well and tasted pretty good considering they contained no egg. This is definitely a mix I will be keeping on hand for those 'oh no, that's tomorrow?' situations.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Mommy Meltdown

When you look up meltdown in the dictionary, at least the one I have on hand, it is listed as a noun referring to what happens in a nuclear power plant when the fuel in a reactor melts the core and the shielding.

In my house, however, it is used to refer to the irrational, unpredictable and often uncontrollable reaction Jackson has to changes in schedule or expectations (transitioning between activities mostly), and objects or people that scare him (the most recent being stuffed owls at the nature center). Any parent of a child on the spectrum knows exactly what I'm talking about.

There's one other type of meltdown in our house, though. One I don't like to talk about or admit to. That would be the Mommy Meltdown. This is my irrational, unpredictable and often uncontrollable reaction to the events of the day or my expectations for the future. It occurs most often in the quiet of the night when the house is still and I should be sleeping like everyone else. It is often in this stillness that I struggle to calm my mind and my heart. There might be one particular thing that sets me off, but more often than not it is a combination of things resulting in me feeling overwhelmed and inadequate. That's when the tears seem to explode out of me, and I put the Holy Spirit to work translating all my sobs into prayers. If I were to attempt a translation, it would usually be that I can't. I just can't do it. I'm not strong enough. I'm not organized enough. I'm not patient enough. I get frustrated and overwhelmed too easily. Jackson isn't getting what he needs. My other children aren't getting what they need. I'm not enough, and I can't be the mother I want to be.

Now, if I were able to articulate how those prayers usually get answered, I would say that God agrees with me. I'm not strong, organized or patient. I am easily frustrated and overwhelmed. I'm not enough, and I can't give my children everything they need. Now if God just left it there, I think this post would be basically pointless. But, here's the thing. I'm not enough, but God is. He's enough for me and my kids, and he never gets tired, frustrated or overwhelmed. He is strong, organized and infinitely patient, and He offers grace and help for the asking.

There's a transaction that takes place in this meltdown process, a transaction between me and God. I trade my frustration for His peace, my weakness for His strength. I give Him my mess, and He gives me back a blessing. I tell Him I can't keep going, and He tells me it's ok, He'll just carry me for a while.

I wish I could say then I fall asleep and wake up to perfection, but I think that would be missing the point. I've learned a powerful lesson through these mommy meltdowns. I'm not perfect, and I don't have to be. God's love for me and pleasure in me has nothing to do with my performance. He wants to help me do everything He has given me to do, and I don't have to do one thing alone. He's all I need.

It would be nice to learn this lesson well enough never to meltdown again, but I guess it's going to be a work in progress. I'll have to glean a little wisdom from Jackson and his meltdowns. Growth is sometimes slow but always happening. With each day, therapy and incident will come new levels of tolerance and understanding. We'll just have to grow together.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Natural Candy



We ran into a serious problem this year for Halloween. The store we were counting on buying our candy from stopped carrying the candies Jackson loves. He'll be fine with Mommy's special homemade treats this year, but I began my internet search so we're prepared for other Holidays and birthdays.

One of our favorite candy products was Yummy Earth Organic Lollypops (formerly sold at Publix). We also like Surf Sweets, and they make a whole line of corn-free candy ranging from gummy bears to jelly beans. The big problem with online organic shopping is that most of the time you have to buy in bulk. Jackson doesn't eat enough candy on his own to warrant buying in bulk. So, that doesn't really work for us. I found a site recently that has a large selection of all our favorite products and sells our favorites in small quantities. My discovery came too late to order and get it here for this year's trick-or-treating, but we'll be ready for Christmas.

The Natural Candy Store even has a section dedicated to corn-syrup free candy. I still check the labels, but this makes it easier to find exactly what I'm looking for.

So, if you're in the market for some natural treats for your little ones, check out the Natural Candy Store online.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Auto Reflections

My schedule stays pretty full. Between pre-school for Jackson, homeschool/class for my older son, three therapies a week, all the shopping and cooking, caring for my 1 year old, sports, church, etc. Things get pretty hectic. There are many things I don't get to do much anymore like watch tv, go to the theater, even going out to dinner has become a near impossible feat with Jackson's allergies and our schedule, but there is one thing I miss more than any other. That is the ability to choose time to spend on spiritual things as I saw fit.

I accepted a challenge in college to read the Bible through every month, and thought I was really doing a great thing. It was great, but I soon had to alter that plan to every three months due to the other studying I had to do. Still every three months was pretty good. A lot of my reading was done on auto pilot, especially through the books that don't read so easy (you know the ones I'm talking about). I can look back and see where I was going through the motions but not really gleaning what I should. Still the Bible actually became one of my favorite books to read, and often was hard to put down.

That challenge had to be altered again after I got married and was now working full time and caring for my new marriage, but during my first pregnancy, when my husband was on call or working over the weekend, I began reading in big chunks again. I would read out loud so the little guy could hear. I have such wonderful memories of what God showed me during that time.

Fast forward to the day my oldest son was born, and those days of reading my Bible, listening to sermons, playing my piano and singing in worship, even just getting to church easily, those days were now gone. I was not prepared for the shift. I really struggled with depression and emotional craziness. Some due to the baby blues women often get after giving birth, but I believe some of it was going from feasting to famine. I was going through withdrawals on top of no sleep, hormone insanity and all the new demands. I remember a deep longing to return to my Bible and thinking, "if I can just get him sleeping through the night..." or "if I could just get him weaned...." I kept thinking those opportunities would just happen again. Well, after two more kids and an autism diagnosis, that day still hasn't come. What I've had to do is make some trades and some interesting improvisations.

I've given up what little bit of tv watching I had left. I've stopped obsessing during the kids' nap time over cleaning or cooking, and began reading my Bible or other spiritual books or listening to a podcasted sermon during that time. Many times I've read myself to sleep, something I would have been appalled to admit before kids, but now I see it as God granting me much needed rest, almost like He's telling His little girl a story and lulling her off to sleep.

My favorite adaptation is what I call auto reflections. Jackson has two half hour speech appointments a week. When we first talked about the schedule, I was a little irritated that these were the only spots she had open for him. I wanted her to block the two segments into a 1 hour slot so I could do something with it, but it was this or nothing. Now, what am I going to do with 30 minutes? There isn't any time for shopping or errands. All I really can do is sit in the parking lot and wait. Then the Holy Spirit opened up my mind and heart to using that time to read, reflect and pray. I've found I can get a lot more done in those 30 minutes than I ever thought possible, and while Jackson gets speech therapy, I'm getting spiritual therapy.

So, while I sat outside the school today getting my spiritual therapy, I decided to post this discovery. I've wasted so much time stressing over not getting enough time with God. Knowing that I needed Him to help me with my often short fuse and anxious, worried heart, and I just kept stressing and thinking there was never going to be enough time. I needed to alter my expectations and open up my mind and heart to a different way of spiritual life.

The longer I'm at this, the more I think it's not about setting aside a certain amount of time or reading a certain amount of pages or getting to that special emotional place in prayer. It's more about desiring God and being open to the time slots He gives you. God doesn't care how much WE do, but how much we let HIM do. Opening our hearts to his work, asking for His filling and help, and making ourselves available when He makes time for us, this is how we keep growing during these hectic seasons of life.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Grandma's Farm Country Cookbook: Tips About Cakes


I love this little cookbook because of all the useful tips and facts inside. The articles range from how to make the perfect custard and how to choose a refrigerator (from 1930), and the recipes are simple and old fashioned, some dating back to the 1800's.

The section on cakes gives a foundation yellow cake recipe and then gives 8 ways to take that recipe and make different cake. It also gives some great tips and facts in each section that girls like me might never have known otherwise.

Things like....

From the cake section:

Dredging nuts or fruit in part of the required flour will keep them from going to the bottom of the batter.

When adding dry ingredients alternately with the liquid, begin and end with the dry ingredients in order to keep the fat from separating from the sugar and egg.

Egg whites beat up to better advantage, both as to time and volume, when the eggs are at room temperature.

This is a neat resource to have in the kitchen, and you can get a used copy from Amazon for less than it costs to ship. Check it out.


Grandma's Farm Country Cookbook

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Seeing Autism

There are plenty of days when I don't even notice Jackson's differences. His autism seems to just disappear into the chaos that is our lives. We go about our weekly routine of school and therapy plus sports and church often without a hitch. We have grown so accustomed to it that life is 'normal' even with the occasional hiccup, and we're happy. Inevitably, though, the routine gets changed. A birthday party here, a family get together there, and suddenly there it is, autism in all it's glory.

Sometimes it's manageable, sometimes it's not. Sometimes no one notices, other times it is quite obvious to everyone present. Many times seeing autism in my child brings up the pain and struggle I felt the day I heard the doctor give his diagnosis. But, in the pain of many of these moments I've been taken back by the reaction of family and friends. I have been nearly brought to tears over and over again at their support, acceptance and even their attempts to understand and help.

I am so blessed to be able to say that in our family and circle of friends, when I see autism, I also see love, hope and understanding.

Oh, that it were that way for every child with this diagnosis.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Natural Sodas


Jackson drinks water, 100% juices and milk. I recently gave him some Juicy Juice sparkling juice which contains no added sugar, but he wouldn't drink it. I also tried another natural sprite type drink, but the face he made when he tried it let me know that I would not be buying any more.

I'm not trying to make him a soda drinker, but I did want to let him try something new. I've often wondered what we would do when he got older and wanted to drink things like everyone else. Well, that's not a problem, at least not in the near future.

Jackson can't really articulate the reason he doesn't like the sparkling juice or natural sodas, but I'm guessing since he's used to drinking unsweetened, non-carbonated drinks, the super sweetness and the fizz was too much for his sensitive palate. I tried them, too, and I noticed a different quality to the natural sodas versus the corn syrup kind. The biggest difference was that it wasn't as tongue numbingly sweet.

Some day Jackson might want to drink soda like his friends, especially at birthday parties and family gatherings, but if he would rather stick to unsweetened, non-carbonated drinks for the rest of his life, that will be fine with me.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Make Your Own Baking Powder

Since my camera has taken it's last picture, I won't be posting new recipes until I get a new one. In the mean time, I'll share things that have helped me in creating my own allergy free recipes.

One of the best things I figured out was making my own Baking Powder.

1 part Baking Soda (I used Bob's Red Mill)
1 part Potato Starch (or any other flavorless starch, corn starch is actually the best, but Jackson's corn allergy doesn't allow for that)
2 parts Cream of Tartar

After mixing, store in an air tight container. I usually mix it using a Tbsp measure. You want to use it before it loses it's potency, usually about 3-4 months. I have no problem with all the baking I do, but you don't want to mix up so much that you can't use it up before it goes bad.

After mixing well, you can use it exactly like you would the store bought kind.

Even if Jackson were to outgrow his allergy, I will likely continue using my own baking powder. It makes a difference in the rise and texture of baked goods, and I like knowing exactly what's in my food. 

Friday, September 17, 2010

My Favorite New Food Discovery


 When I take Jackson to therapy, I will often head down the street to the grocery store. It has an awesome organic/health food section that has many of the products I need to make Jackson's diet as varied and complete as possible. When I have a large block of time to kill, I will often walk the isles reading labels and checking out things I think he might like. One of my recent trips resulted in me finding a product that has really helped us out.

Jackson LOVES french fries. There are some restaurants we can buy fries from, but for the most part, I have to peel, cut and fry them myself. I have mastered the frying for freezing technique, but it's SO much work. Well, I found ALEXIA® Oven Crinkles. Completely organic and corn free. We liked them so much, I made my freezer nuggets and those fries tonight for dinner. Jackson was a very happy camper.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Sibling Therapy

Jackson's developmental pediatrician told us that the best therapy he could ever have was his big brother. The doctor told us Jackson will learn more, grow more and do more because he has that kind of interaction daily. Then came his little sister, and she has more than doubled that one-of-a-kind sibling interaction. Every day they treat him the same, like a brother. They annoy, pick, play and love him like no other child ever will, and I am so very grateful for the siblings God gave my Jackson.

We don't know why Jackson has progressed so well in such a short time. We can attribute much of it, I'm sure, to 4-5 therapy sessions a week, pre-school and Sunday School with typically developing peers, all our prayer and hard work along with God's mercy, but I believe with all my heart that the love, acceptance and expectation of his brother and sister has done him more good than any therapy or school ever could.

God's plan is perfect even when we don't understand. All the good, all the bad, weaving it together for His purpose and our good. It's an amazing love He has for us, and when I think about what my other children have done for Jackson, I can't help but remember Proverbs 18:24, "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

If the best therapy for Jackson is his big brother, then the best therapy for our spiritually disabled hearts is Jesus.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

More Barbecue Please

Late September, early October is the best time for barbecue, in my opinion. Of course, to my husband and oldest son, any time is a good time for barbecue. This however has been a particularly difficult thing for us to figure out corn-free. Then it happened. I discovered corn-free ketchup and worcestershire sauce.




Now, my husband is usually the one who handles the smoking of the butt (pork butt roast), and I'm not at liberty to divulge his rub mixture. I can, however, share the best barbecue sauce recipe we've found.

You can find the original here.

Neely's BBQ Sauce (plus my specifications for certain products)

2 cups Hunts or Heinz 100% Natural Ketchup (see picture above)
1 cup water
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
5 tbsp light brown sugar
5 tbsp sugar
1/2 tbsp fresh ground black pepper
1/2 tbsp onion powder
1/2 tbsp ground mustard
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp Lea & Perrin's Reduced Sodium Worcestershire Sauce (see picture above)

Combine all ingredients in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about an hour, stirring frequently.

Super yummy with chicken or pork.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

The Life of a Warrior Mother

The term 'Warrior Mother' is used to refer to mothers of children with autism. I've always been reluctant to call myself that because of how high functioning Jackson is and how much he has improved with therapy. There are so many mothers we've met on our journey with Jackson's diagnosis who seem so much more worthy of that title, but I've recently felt more overwhelmed and exhausted than ever before. Even in the ordinary every day things I've felt the struggle, and in this daily battle, I can now say I feel like a warrior mother. 

But, what is a warrior really? According to the dictionary a warrior is a brave or experienced fighter. In other places it is described as someone devoted to physical and mental discipline, always ready to stand and fight should they be called to do so. A warrior is someone with extensive training and ability. Our military puts it's recruits through difficult training and preparation in an effort to prepare them for battle. For when they're in a situation with only seconds to act, the military attempts to train them so they don't have to think about their actions, they can just respond with what they've been trained to do.

That type of training makes sense since most of what we do comes in the form of reaction rather than action. No mother decides to lose control and scream at her kids like a lunatic. In that moment she reacts to the frustration of the situation.

So, my definition of a warrior mother is a woman who is mentally, emotionally and spiritually disciplined, well trained, ready to fight for her children and react well in those moments she has little time to think about her actions.

That's a great definition, but what now? As a mom, where do I get my training? How do I discipline myself to react to the craziness around me in a way that would be appropriate and loving? This made me think about that old saying "garbage in, garbage out."

I was blessed/cursed with a perpetually curious nature. I want to know everything about everything, and I've found that the more I'm able to learn about something, the better equipped I am in dealing with it. So, the first aspect of a warrior mother would be in learning as much as she can about her child's condition from literature, teachers, therapists. Equipping herself with an arsenal of knowledge in how to deal with each situation.

Part of that learning should be spent in discovering and understanding your fears so you are better able to push through them. Every warrior can be described as brave and courageous. You don't have to be fearless, but you do have to be able to overcome your fears and do what you know you need to do.

Working hard to maintain your emotional strength is key. You can't take care of your child emotionally if you aren't whole yourself. This means finding those people you can vent and break down with, and many times trying to keep those feelings in check. It is often our feelings that defeat us. Everyone 'feels' like running away sometimes. Everyone 'feels' like they just can't take it any more. What you do with those feelings is what makes the difference between victory and defeat.

The most important training for the warrior mother is in her spirituality. So much of our physical, emotional and mental health depend on our spiritual health. For me this means studying scripture, seeking to really know Christ and follow His example with my children. I don't believe real change is possible without Him, and I strive every day to open my heart up to His healing touch. I have to make a conscious choice every day to believe He can make a better woman out of me, a better mother and warrior for my children.

A warrior mother faces each battle, no matter how small, with courage and resilience. She chooses not to let her child's diagnosis defeat her or her child. She chooses to fight every day believing progress is possible.

We can fight this, and we will succeed.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Don't Quit




Don't Quit 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must — but don't you quit!

Life is queer with it's twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow —
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man.
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out —
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you can never tel how close you are.
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit —
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit. 

A little poem from the Railroad Trainman.

My mind often wanders to all the things I hope I am able to teach my children before they leave my care. The list is indeed daunting, but apart from knowing and loving God, I would have to say sticking it out has to be at the top of the list.

I hope to teach all of my children not to quit, but I have to say I feel a stronger responsibility to impart this lesson to my Jackson (with PDD). My mother's heart can't help but wonder what kind of life awaits him. How will he grow and develop? Will he catch up with his peers? How hard will he have to struggle to get what might come naturally for his brother and sister? Will he play sports, make friends and go to college? Will he marry and have children of his own? Will he find and fulfill his calling or at least be gainfully employed? Will he ever leave my home?

Thinking on these things often makes that daunting list grow even longer, but when I'm still and quiet enough to listen I can hear a sweet, soft voice speaking peace to my troubled mother's heart.

"He belongs to Me, I love him even more than you do, and I have a plan"

While more often than not, I have argued with this voice, feeling that there is no one who can love and care for Jackson like me. After all, I am his mother. However, more and more I find myself better able to trust it really is true. God doesn't make mistakes, and He created Jackson exactly the way he is for a purpose.

If I can stick things out and never give up on him or what I've been called to do, I will be the mother Jackson needs. And, if I can help Jackson learn to stick things out and never quit, he'll be what God wants him to be. Whatever the answers are to my questions, he's going to be ok because God really does love him more than I do, and He really does have a plan.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Pot Roasting Like Granny


There are probably as many different variations on pot roast as there are grandmothers that cook. I don't remember all the details about my Granny's pot roast, but I do remember that it was my favorite meal to eat at her house. Melt in your mouth roast with juicy carrots, yummy potatoes and rice with gravy. My mom actually made a pretty good roast, too, but I'm almost positive she learned it from my Granny.

(Remember whatever the recipe, the key to a good roast is a good cut of meat. You want lots of marbling if you're going to cook it for a long time.)

Here's my attempt at putting her roast into a recipe.

Salt and pepper the roast. Coat in flour. Heat a dutch oven with about two to three tbsp of oil. Sear all sides. Remove the roast and let it rest while you prepare the veggies. To your hot oil, add a tsp or two of minced garlic and a medium chopped onion. Cook until fragrant. Sprinkle in a little rosemary and thyme, about a 1/4 to 1/2 tsp. Add a couple of cups of beef stock and a couple Tbsp worcestershire sauce (Lea and Perrin's Reduced Sodium Worcestershire sauce is corn free). Add half a small can of tomato sauce or a couple Tbsp diced tomatoes (to tenderize the meat). Add chopped carrots and potatoes. Cover and bake on 350 for 2-3 hours or until tender. Then she would make gravy from the pot drippings and serve it over rice.

My memaw started 'cheating' with her gravy and making it with cream of mushroom soup (the Campbell's kind), and I think it tasted better that way. So, I combined all that, give or take a few things, to my crock pot recipe.

How I do it.

If I have time, I sear the roast like she did. Let it rest while I saute the onions and garlic, too. I don't use the rosemary, thyme or the beef stock. I add a can of Health Valley Cream of Mushroom Soup (corn free, uncondensed, organic), the worcestershire sauce (Lea and Perrin's Reduced Sodium), tomato sauce, carrots and potatoes. Stick it in my crock pot and let it cook all day. I still cook rice to go with it, and (since I'm too lazy to make a good gravy) I just use the 'soup' it makes as a 'pot liquor' as they would call it in the old south. It tastes enough like hers to take me back in time, but I've made it mine, too.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Roasting a Chicken from the Freezer


My family really enjoys meals like this. Slow roasted, moist and yummy chicken with veggies is a crowd pleaser in our house any night. The only thing is it takes so much time and energy, it is usually reserved for days I have plenty of time. Well, I've been trying to figure out ways to use my free days to make more complicated meals work for busier days, and decided to try preparing the chicken and freeze it to see if it would work out. It turned out great!

You'll need

1 turkey size oven bag
kitchen twine
metal roasting pan

1 whole roasting chicken
1 bag whole golden or ruby gold potatoes (small enough you won't have to cut them, helps them freeze better)
1 bag baby cut carrots
1 medium onion, cut into large chunks
1 head garlic
1 lemon
1 bunch fresh thyme
about a stick of butter
1 Tbsp or so of olive oil
1/2-1 cup chicken stock
Salt and pepper to taste

Remove and discard organs. Rinse and dry chicken. Generously salt and pepper the cavity of the chicken. Set aside about 5 sprigs of thyme and insert the rest inside the chicken. Cut lemon in half and place one half inside chicken. Cut head of garlic in half horizontally (skin on and all, you want to open up the cloves but not cut it small enough to burn) and place one half inside chicken. Melt a couple tbsp of butter and brush the outside of the chicken. Salt and pepper the outside of the chicken to your taste. Tie the legs of the chicken with kitchen twine.

Put the onions, carrots and potatoes into the oven bag. Strip the thyme from the sprigs you set aside. Coat the veggies in olive oil. Sprinkle veggies with salt, pepper and thyme. Place the oven bag with the veggies into a roasting pan with the open end facing one of the short sides of the pan. Fold up ends of bag opening. Put the chicken in on top of the veggies. Tuck the wings under the breast. Depending on the size of your chicken and your roasting pan, put enough stock to barely cover veggies.

Tie up the oven bag and set everything in the freezer. Once it's frozen you can reclaim your roasting pan, but you'll need it to hold the shape. For something this big, I use my chest freezer.

When you're ready to cook. Pull out the chicken, put it in a roasting pan (or if you keep the roasting pan and chicken together in the freezer like I did, just stick it all in). Cook in your oven on 350 degrees for about 2-3 hours or until the juices run clear when you cut between the thigh and the breast, about 160 degrees on a meat thermometer. Depending on the brand of chicken you buy, a roaster might have one of those pop up gauges that will tell you when it's done. About half way through, I cut and pulled out the oven bag to brown the chicken better.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Love the Little Children

Although it took about 15 minutes into our ride home from church to reach the full fledged tantrum stage, the meltdown began just before pick-up from Sunday school. By the time we reached our destination it had grown into red-faced, screaming, flailing craziness. Absolutely nothing satisfied the madness, not even a lolly pop (Yummy Earth Organic of course). The screaming had affected every one in the car, and soon my other children were whining about hunger pains and dehydration. I had run out of tricks and treats and should have been ready to scream myself, but inside there was peace.

I've been convicted lately about loving my children for who they are (all the good, bad and ugly), not for who they make me, or I guess I should say not loving them for who I want them to make me look like.

The tantrum was not a reflection of my parenting style or an indication I had failed to perform some vital motherly function. Kids go nuts sometimes, and you can't always love or discipline them out of it. Sometimes you just have to endure and love them anyway.

No one could be blamed, as if that would have helped. This was just one of the wonderful bundles of joy God gave me reacting to the usual Sunday struggle with violent self-expression. Discipline and correction are a vital part of my job as a mother, but they don't work without love and acceptance.

I'm very thankful for the peace God gave me during that long car ride home. It felt like a special gift from my heavenly Father just to show me He loves me and understands. (I'll save the comparison between child and parent, woman and God for another day.)

And, by the way, the best behaved in the car was Jackson. The one with the biggest excuse to throw a tantrum was holding his ears and trying to watch the movie. The big screamer was my 19 month old daughter with extremely powerful lungs. I'm thinking opera, something on stage at least, for her eventual vocation. She can hit pitches only dogs can hear, and I love her beautiful voice whatever volume she chooses.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

If I Could Just Touch the Hem of His Garment



"A certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years, and had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing better, but rather grew worse, when she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment. For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole." Mark 5:25-28

This past week has been especially harried and busy. The new school year, baseball, new therapies and a new schedule along with more personal and family struggle has left me once again trying to find my way through the maze that is my life. This week I have often felt like I was running just to catch myself. In a moment of overwhelming desperation, I cried out to God for intervention. In this prayer I found myself asking to touch the hem of His garment. If I could just get close enough to touch Him, I knew I would be be ok.

That's when I went back to this story and read it again. I needed to know how. This is what God laid on my heart.

Forget all you know and all you've learned about your situation. Come to Jesus with empty hands seeking not to bargain or purchase His favor. Seek Him as your only hope knowing that seeking answers in yourself and other people will only make you worse. Push through the crowd, through their judgment and opinions. Reach for Him not caring if you get trampled in the process. You are not too insignificant for Him to care. Your problem is not too small for Him to notice. He is here. Reach out and touch Him.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Falling Through the Church's Cracks

Every mother of a preschooler knows the struggle you face just trying to attend a church service, let alone worship. The hassle getting them dressed in 'itchy' stiff clothes, fed and out the door is just the first hurdle. Then there's getting them to their class room or the nursery. Then you have to make the decision (depending on the size of your church) will they sit with you in 'big church' or go to a children's church. Inevitably you're there during nap time or snack time or some other time that makes them act like they've been neglected their whole lives. Then you can feel the glares from what seems like everyone, some in judgment, some in pity, and you're not sure which glare feels worse. The stress is enough to make you want to just stay home and listen to the sermon podcast while they're snuggled in their beds taking a nap.

I've spent many Sundays that way, arriving home feeling like I've just fought a huge battle, and I don't know if I won. An old friend of mine once told me, "It can't all be easy. God expects a little effort on our part." And, I agree. It can't all be easy. We do have to go through those battles to raise children that love the Lord and want to serve Him. We've got to show them that it takes more to stop us than start us, and loving God is the most important thing in our lives. After all, they grow out of it, right? It's just a couple of years of struggling, right?

What if you had to fight a similar but tougher battle EVERY time you went to church, what if there was little hope of it ever getting any better, what if the rest of the church seemed to merely tolerate yours and your child's presence, would you still go? I know many families of children with special needs that have fallen out of church and fallen through the cracks because it just got too hard.

Mother's of special needs children are much more likely to develop severe depression than mothers of healthy, typically developing children. They tend to fall into patterns of isolation only adding to the problem. When you have to fight and struggle to accomplish simple tasks like going to the grocery store or getting a shower, you lose the will and the energy to fight those bigger battles.

Comparing the difference to taking my typically developing children and my special needs child to church, I can say it is definitely harder. I had gone to church my whole life, went to Christian college and intended to have my children in church their whole lives, too. But, things got so hard with Jackson that I felt forgotten and discouraged. I eventually just gave up, and we didn't go to church for months. There are so many emotions involved that it would be hard for me to explain, but I was crying out to God for help. Was there anyone who would identify with my struggle and help me carry this load?

Two years ago, we started attending a church with an amazing special needs ministry, Green Light.

One of the preschool children's ministers at our church will forever be one of my heroes. When she found out about Jackson's condition, it seemed like she would look for us to walk in the door. She made friends with him, and started a ritual with him for the first several weeks we were there. She would take him to the resource room and get him a special toy to play with. She would walk him to his class and stay with him until he was settled. She was compassionate toward me and paid attention to every one of his issues. It is no surprise that he LOVES it there. I believe it had everything to do with her taking the time to meet his special needs and break through that barrier.

Jackson doesn't need that kind of attention anymore, but he still remembers her. She's busy every Sunday doing what she does, but every time we run into each other in the hall, she greets us with hugs. She was a direct answer to prayer, a provision from God for all my tears. Because of her, I was able to actually attend a service and worship worry and distraction free. I was finally able to connect and be fed. Leaving the service now, I feel energized and encouraged, the way I used to feel before I had kids.

It's so easy for special needs families to fall through the cracks and fade away lost and forgotten to the local church. I know because I nearly did.

If you are a family with special needs, take heart, there are churches that will help you carry your load. If you are a member of a church, please take the time to reach out to those that seem to be carrying a heavier burden.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Eggsperiment Conclusion


It took a little while to get here, to the conclusion of my eggsperiment.

The problem: Jackson develops severe digestive problems and a rash after ingesting eggs.

The hypothesis: Jackson's intolerance of eggs might be linked to the corn protein passed from hen to egg.

The test: Give Jackson eggs from free range, oat fed hens.

The conclusion: I gave Jackson something yummy and homemade using the farm fresh, free range eggs from my parents' farm. Each day I tried to increase the amount of egg he received. He remained symptom free throughout the trial. On day eight however, he was accidentally exposed to corn syrup. He reacted as he normally does, and we went back to our previous diet restrictions while his system recovered. Before he fully recovered, however, he got a stomach virus (along with the rest of the family), and we had to postpone any further experimentation a few days. Once he had bounced back and his system had reset, I made him some pancakes using regular store bought eggs. He reacted within 20 minutes (severe diarrhea and a rash that lasted for about a day). By the end of the day, his stomach had emptied itself of the allergen and he was feeling just fine. I do intend to test store bought eggs again, but I'll have to wait until the next school break (just in case the next reaction is worse).

So, once again, I'm no scientist or food allergy expert, but my Doctor Mom conclusion is that it is the corn protein or at least the stress hormones in the store bought eggs that cause his reaction.

My mind has been drifting recently to holiday cooking and birthday cakes WITH EGGS!!! That is, if my parents can figure out what to do about the gigantic snake that has become quite fat raiding their hen house after the chickens leave to scratch for their breakfast. They don't want to kill it, and are trying other ways to prevent its thievery. We'll see.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Chicken Pot Pie



Eager to get back to basics and learn to cook from scratch like so many women did long before me, I bought an out of print cookbook that contained all kinds of neat information and old recipes. Most of the recipes were from The Country Kitchen Cookbook published in 1894. There was one called Chicken Pie that listed as it's ingredients, 1 boiled chicken and broth, flour, milk, salt and pepper and biscuit dough. It had four steps and no measurements. I decided though there was something to the biscuit top, and set to work on creating my own version.

This recipe makes a very large pie or two medium sized pies. I usually make two medium pies and freeze one before baking.

My kids LOVE the biscuit crust, and this is also one of those sneaky recipes that gets my kids to eat veggies without noticing.

3-4 chicken breasts, cooked and chopped into cubes (4-6 cups, I prefer to roast the chicken, but boiling works just as well.)
1 32 oz package chicken broth (I use Progresso's 100% Natural) or about 4 1/2 cups homemade broth
1 1/2 stick unsalted butter
2 cups chopped onions (two small or one large)
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup cream
2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 12 oz pkg frozen peas and carrots (I like the flavor of the soup mix with corn better, but since Jackson can't have it, we use the simple peas and carrots)

In a small saucepan, heat the chicken broth. In a large pot or dutch oven (this is the one you'll be adding everything to), melt the butter and saute the onions until translucent, about 10 minutes. Add the flour and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, for about 2 minutes. Add the chicken broth. Simmer over low heat for another minute or so, stirring until thick. Add the salt, pepper and cream and stir until well combined. Add chicken, carrots and peas. Mix well. Allow to simmer until peas and carrots are heated through.
While the filling is simmering prepare your crust.

1 1/2 cup unbleached self-rising flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tbsp sugar
3 tbsp butter, softened
1 - 1 1/2 cup buttermilk

In a medium non-metal mixing bowl, whisk together salt, sugar and flour. Cut in butter until there are no lumps bigger than a pea. Add buttermilk to the flour until you get a thick but spreadable consistency.

Pour your filling into two 1.5 quart casserole dishes or 1 2.5-3 quart dish. If you're freezing the pie, you'll want to use a metal pan since a glass dish might crack or split in two, and you'll want to let the filling cool before the next step. Carefully spoon your biscuit dough over top of the pie and spread evenly. It will rise and spread together in the oven. If you're freezing, place the pie uncovered on a level shelf in your freezer (I use my chest freezer). Check on it in about an hour or so, then cover with foil, label and wrap well. It should keep for a month or two in a regular freezer and 3-4 months in a chest freezer.

Bake on 350 degrees F for about 30-45 minutes until the top is golden brown.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Apple Fritters




My oldest son and my daughter act almost like it's Christmas when they get an apple fritter from the bakery. Jackson hasn't ever acted like it bothered him that he couldn't have one (I usually have something else special for him), but he's asked a couple of times if they would make him sick. One of the last couple of times we got them, my oldest, Jacob, asked me if Jackson could have one. I told him that he couldn't because at the very least the baker probably uses regular powdered sugar (with corn starch) for the glaze. So, he matter of factly said, "Oh, well then, you'll just have to make them." Then over the past few weeks, whenever I was cooking or testing a recipe, he would ask me if I had made a recipe for apple fritters yet.

I started feeling the pressure, and got up the nerve to at least check into it. All the recipes I found were for the quick bread type. I know the ones from the bakery are made from a yeast dough.

I got brave and decided to take a basic yeast doughnut recipe and tweak it to create my version of apple fritters. I had no idea how it would turn out, but the dough looked good, felt good and rose well. When I started frying, the house smelled like I was frying apple pies, and I had all noses in the kitchen while I cooked. Everyone was so excited, but no one as excited as Jackson. I guess it bothered him more than I realized that he couldn't have the same yummy treat as everyone else.

The final product turned out really good. They taste like apple doughnuts. My daughter can't get enough, and Jackson got to sit and enjoy his first apple fritter ever. He loved it!

Fritters:
3/4 cup scalded milk
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 tsp salt
2 1/4 tsp yeast (1 quarter ounce packet)
1/4 cup warm water
4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2 eggs, beaten
2 cups chopped apple (tart, crisp apples, not the kind you put in a pie, I used Galas because I had them on hand)
oil for deep frying

In a small bowl, combine yeast and warm water with a pinch of sugar. Set aside until foamy.
In a small sauce pan, scald the milk and melt the butter.
In a medium mixing bowl stir together the scalded milk, butter, sugars and salt. Set aside to cool.
In a large mixing bowl, stir cinnamon and 2 cups of the flour.
Combine milk mixture with flour mixture. Add beaten eggs and yeast. Mix just until smooth.
Add chopped apples.
Mix in the remaining 2 cups of flour 1/2 cup at a time using more or less to get a nice firm dough.
Knead for about 5 minutes.
Coat dough in melted butter and place in a covered bowl to rise until doubled, usually about 45 minutes.
Punch the dough down and knead again for a couple of minutes. Return to the bowl to rise again for about 30 minutes.
While you're waiting for it to rise, add oil to stock pot (I used my dutch oven) or fryer, about an inch or two deep. When your dough is almost done rising, heat the oil to about 375 degrees F.
Grab about a tablespoon or two size dough ball. Roll and flatten in your hands, flat as a pancake. They will rise considerably. So, start small to get the right size. (You don't want burnt crust and doughy centers.) Fry fritters a few at a time. Cook on each side until golden brown then remove to a towel to drain.

Glaze:
1/2 cup butter, melted
2-3 cups powdered sugar (I use Whole Foods' or Trader Joe's brand, organic and corn free)
2 tsp vanilla
5-6 tbsp hot water

In a medium mixing bowl, melt the butter. Add vanilla. Sift sugar and add slowly to butter. Keep adding until you have a stiff ball of sugar. Run your faucet until water is as hot as you can get it. Add hot water to the butter mixture 1 Tbsp at a time until you get a nice glaze consistency. You want it to be relatively thin. Dip fritters in glaze on both sides and lay on a rack or sheet pan to dry.

Makes about 2 dozen.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Forgetting the Good Stuff




The house needs cleaning. The laundry is piling up. There are chocolate fingerprints on the walls and windows. All this cooking is hard enough, but then come the dishes. Ugh. Then there’s therapy and school, shopping and church. The list grows faster than I can cross things off. So much I NEED to do, and it seems like I’m always behind, always disappointed in my own performance, struggling to be the perfect mother and never measuring up.

When I get like this, I start telling myself, “You’re turning into Martha.” You know, the infamous Martha from Luke 10. I haven’t always been this way. For the better part of my childhood, I would say I fit more into the Mary category, able to ignore the details for fellowship. Then somewhere in college, I felt like I was developing a split personality, part Mary, part Martha. The Mary part of me has since lost precious ground with every burden and responsibility I have taken on.

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good part, and it will not be taken away from her.” (from Luke 10:41-42)

Mary and Martha’s story was about Jesus and their relationship with Him, but I’d like to step out of the box and apply it a little differently than you would likely hear in church or a Bible study. I want to share the way I often use it to remind myself what is really important. 

Jackson’s autism is a daily challenge. There’s potty training (which is beginning to look like it will be a lifelong battle), teaching him to dress and groom himself, preparing his food, providing order and consistency in his routine, teaching him manners and how to control himself around others, and teaching him proper language and communication. Teaching a child on the spectrum these things is nothing like teaching a typical child. Jackson doesn’t make those intuitive leaps you can count on in typical children. Everything I teach him must be deliberate and intentional, and I have to be literal in what I say (that’s not easy for an abstract thinking creative mommy). Besides what I need to teach him, there are things like brushing, therapeutic listening, and the things we do to alleviate his sensory discomfort.

Since I lean more toward the Martha side of the spectrum these days, it’s easy for me to lump all these activities into a list of things to do, crossing them off as I go, moving forward to the next item on the list. It’s easy to focus on the things I need to do for him while neglecting his most basic need, a relationship with me.

Jackson won’t notice if the laundry piles up. He doesn’t see the chocolate fingerprints on the wall. He’ll eat yogurt, bananas and hot dogs for every meal if I let him. But, he does notice when I’m too busy for him. His behavior digresses when we miss therapy, or when I forget to brush him, and it’s not always pretty, but his reaction to not getting enough time from me is exponentially greater than missing any other therapy or exercise we practice.

So, when I get bogged down in my never ending to do list, and I tell myself, “You’re turning into Martha.” I could just as easily be telling myself, “You’ve forgotten your children.”

There are so many things a mother must do to run her home and raise her children, but there is only one truly necessary thing, only one thing that can’t be neglected, her relationship with her children.

My kids love it when I read to them, build lego towers, play board games, dance to their favorite kiddy songs (Jackson’s are Going on a Bear Hunt and Bare Necessities), making up new sports to play, and so much more. I like to play like I cook. It has to taste good but it’s great if it’s healthy, too. So, I like to have fun with them, but I want them to learn or benefit from our play as much as possible.

Here are some play suggestions I got from Autism Speaks’ 100 Day Action Plan.



Ideas for Purposeful Play
From the University of Washington Autism Center Parent Care Book 

Imitation: Object and Motor
• Sing finger play songs such as the Itsy Bitsy Spider, 5 Little Monkeys, Zoom down the Freeway
• Utilize musical instruments: “Let’s make music”, play Simon Says, have a musical parade, slow down, speed up, “Follow Me Song”
• Figurines: know on barn door, follow the leader to the schoolhouse
• Block play: make identical block structures
• Painting and drawing similar pictures, strokes, circles, lines, dot art
• Dramatic play: feeding babies, pouring tea, driving cars or trains on tracks, hammering nails, stirring 

Receptive and Expressive Labeling 
Embed labeling into activities such as:
• House (cup, spoon, plate, door)
• Grocery store (orange, apple, banana)
• Dolls (body parts, brush, clothing)
• Barn (animals, tractor)
• Art: Colors, scissors, glue, markers, big crayons, little crayons
• Books: pointing and labeling objects, letters, numbers, shapes, etc.
• Sensory Table: put different colors of animals, shapes, sizes, common objects
• Park/Playground: slide, swing, ball
• Play Dough: use different colored play dough, animal shaped cookie cutters 

Receptive Instructions
• Songs: “Simon Says” clap hands, tap legs, etc.
• Clean up time: put in garbage, put on shelf
• During activities request items, “Give me ___”
• Ask child to get their coat/backpack on the way outside or at the end of the day
Matching • Lotto matching game
• Puzzles with pictures underneath
• Picture to object matching can be done as activity during play (have the child match the picture of a cow while playing with the barn) 

Requesting
• Utilize motivating items (i.e. bubbles, juice, trains) to address requesting/communication
• Swing: wait to push until child makes the request
• Door: wait to open until child makes a request
• Lunch/Snack withhold until child makes request
• Art: child can request glitter, glue, stickers, paint, etc.
 

Friday, July 30, 2010

It's Ok if They Don't Eat Like a Nutritionist

There are 3 baskets of unfolded laundry sitting on my bed right now. I have a rock in my bath tub. Yes, the kind you find in the garden, probably about 8 inches long and a couple inches thick. I'm running low on pull-ups and struggling to find the strength and patience I need to continue to fight in the battle between Jackson and number 2. Add to the usual craziness the fact that school starts next week, and I might just have a panic attack. Preparing breakfast and lunch for my little guy and thinking about trusting someone else with his health is a very scary thing.

Well, I just read some news and the abstract of an article published in Pediatrics on July 19, 2010, Feeding Symptoms, Dietary Patterns, and Growth in Young Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Essentially the article said that ASD kids on special diets restricted by allergies or food aversion grow the same as children off the spectrum. GF/CF, yeast free, sugar free, the kind of kid that only eats pudding and jello, the diet didn't matter. They grow just about the same. So, I don't have to freak out quite so much when the only thing he wants to eat for lunch is graham crackers and a banana, and I can pack his lunch with the things I know he will eat and enjoy.

I guess I will have to admit that my pediatrician husband's philosophy, "Feed him what he likes and give him a vitamin. He'll be ok." might actually be right. Well, sometimes and as long as what he likes is on our allergy free, natural menu.