The Worst Transition EVER

We’ve been looking for that perfect house for a while now, one that has enough room for us and our children with some to spare so we can practice hospitality, one with a large kitchen and well laid out rooms, somewhere we can permanently settle and raise our family. Well, we found it, everything I mentioned above and more, but the timing of that decision has proven to be the worst transition to date. 

Our landlord decided he wanted to sell the house we were renting, but closing on the new house kept getting pushed back. We were suddenly faced with moving out before we had somewhere to move to. Big problem for a family of five, but even worse for one with an autistic child. The only solution we could figure out was to stay with family until we were able to close on the new house.

Jackson has been doing better with transitions lately, usually only struggling with the ones any other five year old would struggle with. You know, like leaving the playground to go home get a bath and go to bed. I was hopeful we might get through this afterall.

So, step one was to get packed. Jackson took it relatively well until the late nights and days without naps took their toll on his already struggling system. He eventually broke down into a mess, sitting in his room where his bed used to be crying over and over, “but I don’t want a new house, I want to keep this one.” I couldn’t help but sit and cry with him. 

Step two was to store everything and take only the bare minimum. Trying to figure out what we absolutely had to have proved more difficult for me than for Jackson. As long as he has his blanket, pillow pet and some action figures, he’s good. I found a lesson in his simplicity, but I’ll share that one another time. 

Step three settling into my parents’ three bedroom, two bathroom house where my brother and his wife are also staying. Yes, that means nine people total in a little farm-house and all five of us sleeping in one room. I have to say that while it is a struggle to get children who are used to being tucked in and left to go to sleep on their own to go to sleep together in one room has been a challenge, I have actually enjoyed the closeness. I’ve thought several times that there are families all over the world who do this every night. I can handle it for a couple of weeks, right? While spending time with my parents has been nice and having a farm to roam has been nice as well, I’m seeing more struggle in Jackson. More whining, more fussing, more stemming and lashing out behavior. Less eye contact, less social interaction. More gaming, playing action figures all by himself, more talking back and angry expressions of his feelings. I wish I could say I have a plan all figured out for all this behavior, but this transition is hard on me and the rest of us as well. We’re all more testy and we’re all finding it harder to get along. His younger sister is REALLY struggling with the whole thing. She’s asked to go home a couple of times, and I’ve found myself struggling to know what to say because in the craziness of those moments, I do, too. I think my struggle makes his that much more difficult.

I keep thinking to myself, this too shall pass. It will all soon be a funny story we tell everyone who sees our new house, but that only brings a little comfort in the throws of a five year old’s defiance or a two year old’s testy screams. I can say, though, that once we do get settled into our new home and past all the transition woes, I will be that much more thankful for the rhythm and routine of a peaceful home we can call our own.