When I take Jackson to therapy, I will often head down the street to the grocery store. It has an awesome organic/health food section that has many of the products I need to make Jackson's diet as varied and complete as possible. When I have a large block of time to kill, I will often walk the isles reading labels and checking out things I think he might like. One of my recent trips resulted in me finding a product that has really helped us out.
Jackson LOVES french fries. There are some restaurants we can buy fries from, but for the most part, I have to peel, cut and fry them myself. I have mastered the frying for freezing technique, but it's SO much work. Well, I found ALEXIA® Oven Crinkles. Completely organic and corn free. We liked them so much, I made my freezer nuggets and those fries tonight for dinner. Jackson was a very happy camper.
Jackson's developmental pediatrician told us that the best therapy he could ever have was his big brother. The doctor told us Jackson will learn more, grow more and do more because he has that kind of interaction daily. Then came his little sister, and she has more than doubled that one-of-a-kind sibling interaction. Every day they treat him the same, like a brother. They annoy, pick, play and love him like no other child ever will, and I am so very grateful for the siblings God gave my Jackson.
We don't know why Jackson has progressed so well in such a short time. We can attribute much of it, I'm sure, to 4-5 therapy sessions a week, pre-school and Sunday School with typically developing peers, all our prayer and hard work along with God's mercy, but I believe with all my heart that the love, acceptance and expectation of his brother and sister has done him more good than any therapy or school ever could.
God's plan is perfect even when we don't understand. All the good, all the bad, weaving it together for His purpose and our good. It's an amazing love He has for us, and when I think about what my other children have done for Jackson, I can't help but remember Proverbs 18:24, "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
If the best therapy for Jackson is his big brother, then the best therapy for our spiritually disabled hearts is Jesus.
Late September, early October is the best time for barbecue, in my opinion. Of course, to my husband and oldest son, any time is a good time for barbecue. This however has been a particularly difficult thing for us to figure out corn-free. Then it happened. I discovered corn-free ketchup and worcestershire sauce.
Now, my husband is usually the one who handles the smoking of the butt (pork butt roast), and I'm not at liberty to divulge his rub mixture. I can, however, share the best barbecue sauce recipe we've found.
You can find the original here.
Neely's BBQ Sauce (plus my specifications for certain products)
2 cups Hunts or Heinz 100% Natural Ketchup (see picture above)
1 cup water
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
5 tbsp light brown sugar
5 tbsp sugar
1/2 tbsp fresh ground black pepper
1/2 tbsp onion powder
1/2 tbsp ground mustard
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp Lea & Perrin's Reduced Sodium Worcestershire Sauce (see picture above)
Combine all ingredients in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about an hour, stirring frequently.
Super yummy with chicken or pork.
The term 'Warrior Mother' is used to refer to mothers of children with autism. I've always been reluctant to call myself that because of how high functioning Jackson is and how much he has improved with therapy. There are so many mothers we've met on our journey with Jackson's diagnosis who seem so much more worthy of that title, but I've recently felt more overwhelmed and exhausted than ever before. Even in the ordinary every day things I've felt the struggle, and in this daily battle, I can now say I feel like a warrior mother.
But, what is a warrior really? According to the dictionary a warrior is a brave or experienced fighter. In other places it is described as someone devoted to physical and mental discipline, always ready to stand and fight should they be called to do so. A warrior is someone with extensive training and ability. Our military puts it's recruits through difficult training and preparation in an effort to prepare them for battle. For when they're in a situation with only seconds to act, the military attempts to train them so they don't have to think about their actions, they can just respond with what they've been trained to do.
That type of training makes sense since most of what we do comes in the form of reaction rather than action. No mother decides to lose control and scream at her kids like a lunatic. In that moment she reacts to the frustration of the situation.
So, my definition of a warrior mother is a woman who is mentally, emotionally and spiritually disciplined, well trained, ready to fight for her children and react well in those moments she has little time to think about her actions.
That's a great definition, but what now? As a mom, where do I get my training? How do I discipline myself to react to the craziness around me in a way that would be appropriate and loving? This made me think about that old saying "garbage in, garbage out."
I was blessed/cursed with a perpetually curious nature. I want to know everything about everything, and I've found that the more I'm able to learn about something, the better equipped I am in dealing with it. So, the first aspect of a warrior mother would be in learning as much as she can about her child's condition from literature, teachers, therapists. Equipping herself with an arsenal of knowledge in how to deal with each situation.
Part of that learning should be spent in discovering and understanding your fears so you are better able to push through them. Every warrior can be described as brave and courageous. You don't have to be fearless, but you do have to be able to overcome your fears and do what you know you need to do.
Working hard to maintain your emotional strength is key. You can't take care of your child emotionally if you aren't whole yourself. This means finding those people you can vent and break down with, and many times trying to keep those feelings in check. It is often our feelings that defeat us. Everyone 'feels' like running away sometimes. Everyone 'feels' like they just can't take it any more. What you do with those feelings is what makes the difference between victory and defeat.
The most important training for the warrior mother is in her spirituality. So much of our physical, emotional and mental health depend on our spiritual health. For me this means studying scripture, seeking to really know Christ and follow His example with my children. I don't believe real change is possible without Him, and I strive every day to open my heart up to His healing touch. I have to make a conscious choice every day to believe He can make a better woman out of me, a better mother and warrior for my children.
A warrior mother faces each battle, no matter how small, with courage and resilience. She chooses not to let her child's diagnosis defeat her or her child. She chooses to fight every day believing progress is possible.
We can fight this, and we will succeed.
