Let Me Hold Your Hand

Pulling in to the sensory gym to pick Jackson up from his OT appointment today, I saw a mom (assuming she's a mother, could have been an aunt, foster parent, caretaker) I've not seen at therapy before. She was sitting on the concrete steps in the sun with her head bent, resting in her hands. By the time I got my kids ready to go inside, she had already gone in. Upon exiting my car, I could hear her son (again assuming her son) screaming from inside the gym. Then I understood. Everything inside me wanted to go hold her hand and tell her what I desperately want to hear in my moments like that. Since she and her son's therapist were handling the situation, I didn't know if it would help or hurt. I had to get Jackson and get us home for lunch and the rest of our school day. So, I didn't. But, I thought I would share this for those of you who know what this woman was facing today, who know that feeling all too well, desperation and exhaustion mixed with a little shame, suffering through a melt down at the playground, the bounce house, the grocery store, school activity, birthday party etc.

Let me hold your hand and tell you. It's going to be ok. I know you're a good mom because if you didn't care, you wouldn't be here, and you certainly wouldn't be fighting this battle in public. The sting of the daggers thrown at you from dozens of glaring eyes will only hurt for a little while, but if you give up and give in to that voice in your head that just wants it to be over, that might set your child back and undo the painstaking hours of work you've already put into overcoming this obstacle. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and there are many, many parents who know what you're going through. If one of us sees you out in public in a situation like this, we'll be routing for you. You can make it. You will survive it. And, I want you to know, I'll be praying for you and for that precious child of yours. I can tell you from experience. You will reach a day when progress has been made, obstacles have been overturned, and the road ahead made just a little bit smoother. You will learn more about life, love and humanity caring for your amazing child than you could learn from a dozen typical children. He is yours! You are his! You've been called to walk this road together, and God will never call you to something He won't give you the strength to handle WELL. Hang in there, and when you don't think you can make it, grab a hand and hold on tight. You are not alone. Let me hold your hand and tell you. It's going to be ok.

Finding the Right Buzz

Or, I guess I should say the right buzz kill. Caffeine is known to have a calming affect on those who suffer with ADD or ADHD. It's a stimulant and acts much like ADD medication does in helping with focus and attention. Most pediatricians, though, will still caution that caffeine is not good for children. With that being said, we (my pediatrician husband and I) decided to try it with our autistic son.

It's not easy to find a caffeine delivery system for a child allergic to corn with certain food texture/temperature aversions.

So, my first thought, being from the South, was to give him a glass of sweet tea in the morning before school. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. He hated it.

Soda, even the natural kind, isn't an option because he can't stand the fizziness. Warm liquids are equally as hard to tolerate. I tried yerba mate (something I like to drink) and earl gray tea over ice. Same reaction as the sweet tea, even when I sweetened it to the pucker point. Still, we were noticing a difference in his behavior when I was able to get him to drink some of it, usually accomplished with bribing. So, I scoured the health food isle at our local special-diet-friendly grocery store to find Energy Bites, a berry yerba mate drink, and a natural energy shot.

First the yerba mate drink, Guayaki Yerba Mate Very Berry 16 oz. with 150mg of caffeine per can. WOW! A can of Coke has 33mg, and a can of Mountain Dew has 50mg of caffeine. I thought, "Hey, this might work. I can just give him half a cup, ask him to take it like medicine, and he'll get more than enough to get the job done." However, this stuff doesn't keep well after opening, and the more I tried this, the more he reacted with whiney icky faces. I liked it enough, though, to keep buying it for those mornings when I need more focus and attention, or a swift kick in the heinie.

Next we tried the Energy Bites. "Mom, they taste good, I just can't chew them." Given the initial look on his face at first bite, it took me a little while to get brave enough to try them. They do taste ok, but wow, they took some serious chewing. Think stale gummy worms, the cheap kind from the 80's. I think these will end up work out food for mommy.

Next the the tiny little bottle of Steaz Energy Shot. 150mg of caffeine in a 2.5 oz bottle. I knew better than to ask him to drink it straight at this point, and he does NOT need that much caffeine. This time I decided to just add it to something he liked. In this case, a milkshake.

2-3 good scoops of Breyers All Natural Vanilla ice cream

2-3 good scoops of Stonyfield Organic Vanilla yogurt

2-3 tsp of Lyle's Golden Syrup (to sweeten it, you could probably use honey, too)

enough milk to make it smooth, and

.5 oz or 1 tsp Steaz Energy Shot (I figure about 30mg of caffeine)

Well, this time, he drank it all down to the last drop and asked me AFTER it was all gone why he got to have a milk shake with breakfast. I said it was a special milk shake with medicine in it, and we were going to try it for a few days. His eyes lit up like I had just told him Christmas might come next week. "A milkshake for breakfast? Cool." Now, I would add fruit and make it a smoothie, but Jackson can tell if there's one strawberry/raspberry/ANYberry seed in a whole cup of juice. He likes orange juice though, so maybe I'll try my hand at making an orange julius copy recipe.

He focused well for me during school, and seemed more calm so far this morning. Maybe we've found the answer. Making a milkshake for breakfast will make more sense to me when the weather warms up. Right now, just watching him drink it made me cold. I'm currently dressed in mommy sweats with the fire going. General Lee (Georgia's groundhog) predicted an early Spring though. So, Spring, the sooner you get here, the sooner I can start complaining about how hot it is and how much I miss the cold.