Let's evaluate the pile.
Resolution #1: Read through the Bible twice. Ha. I've been 3 days from the end of the first go round for about a month now. I keep readjusting the time frame (if you have a Bible app, I've hit 'catch me up' more times than I can count).
Resolution #2: Blog at least once a week. Hmmmm. That would mean I should have about 30 posts. That number at the bottom of this blog says 23 (well, after I post this one, it will say 24), and that is after I re-blogged two of my favorite recipes from a while back. I'm not sure those count.
Resolution #3: Write in my journal at least once a day. Hahahahaha! We're not even going to go there. Let's just say that voice you hear in your head when you're reading things, you know the one that goes along with what you're reading (well, at least there's a voice in my head when I read, maybe that explains more about me than I should be sharing, but anyway....), that voice went from super cool and totally awesome (obviously) to the most boring monotone Ben Stein-ish narration to my totally unexciting life. Well, that or a whiny Fran Drescher complaining about her totally unexciting life. I got tired of the voices in my head and the writer's cramp in my hand, and decided to concentrate on my blog. Ha. That went well.
Resolution #4: Yoga three times a week. Once again I'm lol-ing while I type. I will say however, we did get a treadmill (so I can't use the kids as an excuse not to run), and I learned about strength training at home. Right now, I'm running about 3 miles per session (when I'm not nursing an injury), and I did my first 5k race just a couple of weeks ago. However, I will NOT be posting the time. When I reach my goal of a 22 minute 5k, I'll post that time for sure.
Resolution #5: Finish my masters. I'm currently 2 classes away from finishing. The problem is, that's the same distance away from graduating I was when this year started.
Resolution #6: Potty train my 3 year old. Now, this one makes me laugh the most because in this process I've discovered that I must be the most incompetent potty trainer this world has ever seen. I mean, really! How hard is it to teach an intelligent capable child to stop messing in their pants? Apparently something a man with a doctorate and a woman with a (almost) graduate degree can't figure out. It's like this child has been trained in military level resistance and diversion tactics. I've nearly resolved (hahaha, there's that word again) to resign this process to her (not yet registered and school starts Wednesday) new preschool teacher and friends in class this year.
Resolution #7 and 8: These are private and no where near completion. If I accomplish them, you'll know, trust me.
Resolution #9: Play my piano every day. This is by far one of the most relaxing things for me. I can go from completely tense and good for nothing frustrated to calm and focused in just 15 minutes. Unfortunately, my keyboard (Korg Concert XC 2000, which I got for a birthday present when I was 17) isn't working. A couple of the keys stick or don't make a sound, and the pedals no longer work. Can't afford a new one, and the nearest place to have it fixed is about an hour away. I miss it. A LOT.
Resolution #10: Live more purposefully. I'm a planner at heart. I like things to go the way I've decided they should go, but I'm obviously still floundering around allowing life to dictate where I'm headed rather than me or my God. This just adds to my frustration and causes me to want to crawl in bed with a half gallon of rocky road ice cream and refuse to emerge until the lactose forces me out. Actually, this was the main reason I made resolutions this year. Because I wanted to set goals and see them accomplished, on purpose, not because the stars aligned and I just happened to be in the right place at the right time doing the right thing.
At the very bottom of my resolution entry in my journal, this is what I wrote:
"May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ."
2 Thes. 3:5
"My hope for this year is to be directed by God to His love and steadfastness. To finally learn to trust Him and to believe that He does love me. He is good, and He really does work all things for my good."Where's that carton of rocky road?
Once again, I'm facing the beginning of another year, the school year. I'm going to have 3 kids in 3 different schools (well, that is if I can get my daughter registered and IF they still have an opening). One in a home school parent lead education program, one in public school and special education program, and one in preschool. If I ever needed to be organized and goal oriented, now is the time, but it just seems like the harder I work, the less I get done. We have hamsters (adorable, smelly little creatures that like to poop as soon as you pull them out of their cages), and they LOVE their wheels, especially at about 3-4am, but that's another topic. I often find myself feeling like I'm stuck on that darn wheel, running until I can't run anymore, eventually collapsing in the same place I started. There has to be a better way.
For what am I striving, exactly? Perfection? I think so, and I think my head and heart must have missed the memo telling all of us humans that perfection isn't possible in this life. I'm starting to think I might need to scrap all these resolutions and concentrate on that last line in my journal. "To finally trust Him and to believe that He does love me. He is good, and He really does work all things for my good."
So, here's to another school year! Maybe we should toast with juice boxes and throw confetti in the air. No, wait, I'll have to clean that up. Let's just stick to the juice. May I trust my God with my harried life, my children and my goals, and allow Him to make it all good.
Happy New Year!
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