The Right Shoes Make All the Difference in the World

I've been running since March of 2012 as part of my own personal Oxygen Mask Project, and I just suffered my first blister after Thanksgiving. I was wearing Brooks Ravenna 3, and loved them so far. I reasoned that my decision to up the miles in preparation for a half marathon was the culprit for my sudden discomfort, but I wanted to make sure I had the right shoes. I went to a large running chain in our area. I figured since their logo is on every race t-shirt I've received so far, and a friend highly recommended them, I should give it a shot.

Their fitting process involves computer mapping your feet and running on a tread mill. It was strange running in front of someone for the purpose of buying shoes. Nevermind the fact that the person helping me looked like he was barely 16. I'm pretty sure after our conversation, he was at least an upper classman in college. I don't know because I didn't ask, and I sure wasn't going to tell him how old I was. Besides, I think my age radar is broken. Funny how the older you get, the younger everyone else looks. Anyway, the video of my stride, how my foot pronates when I land, how a motion control shoe would be the best for me, it was all very interesting. I bought some neon, motion control shoes.

I'm pretty sure if I ran at night in these, I would glow in the dark.

First run in the new shoes, awesome. Compliments galore. Then, I started to feel soreness in my feet I had never felt before. I decided I just needed to break them in, but the more I ran, the more pain I felt. Then I started suffering some of the same issues I felt when I had first started running, plus pain in the under inside part of my calf. Could they be the wrong shoes? But, he 'tested' me. How are they the wrong shoes? Am I pushing myself too hard? What's the deal?

I shared my frustration with a friend who is more of a natural runner, and she thought my feet were just fine the way God made them and I should try running in a shoe that allowed my feet to do what they were designed to do. (Pause for a second to think about the fact that most creatures in nature that rely on running to eat or survive have padded or hooved feet. I have neither. Does that mean I'm crazy for wanting to run, like for fun and fitness?) So, I started looking into natural running, stride, gate, cadence and basically running like my kids run. I ended up going to a natural running store to have a gate evaluation. Aside from finding out I was doing really well in some things (good posture, good mid-stance form), I found out (at least to the natural chi-running expert evaluating me) that I was not doing well in other things. He talked about learning how to run 'soft' and not landing on my heel. Which I didn't think I was doing, but he video taped me running. So, I couldn't argue. The way he explained it, it was like I was stopping and starting every time I took a step and overworking my lower legs. Lean forward, increase your cadence (180 steps per minute) and land on your mid-foot not your heel; that's what he told me. I also learned from his video that my hips hurt because my core is weak. You know how some people have a 'wiggle' in their walk. Well, I have a 'wiggle' in my run, and that's not good. Add strengthening my core to the list. Oh, the thought of more crunches and planks just made me want to cry. I wanted to tell him how hard I'm already working on my core, that I know he can't tell, but it's SO much stronger than it was when I started all this craziness. I love my children, but they wreaked havoc on my midsection. Ok, back to running. I bought some shoes. I'm not super happy with the aesthetic, but they feel great.

I know Altra makes prettier shoes. If I ever buy another pair, I'll get more color.

After leaving there, I started researching further, learning about stress in your life and how it affects your running. According to other natural running experts, my issues with my lower leg might be due to adrenal stress, and not necessarily a result of my running. So, now my crazy, mommy, wife, maid, cook, chauffeur, therapist, philosopher life was causing me actual physical pain. Awesome. Now what?

Back to basics.

I started running barefoot, as in just socks, on my treadmill, and started working in these changes and my new 'natural' shoes. I noticed lots of positive things. Many of the issues I had noticed creeping up due to the half marathon training were beginning to fade. I started thinking I was on the right track. Then I got the "it's not the flu but it feels like it" virus and was sick for a month over Christmas break. How awesome is that? It forced me to rest and alleviate some of the offending stress, which was good, but I was very frustrated about how far behind I fell on my training. When I decided I was well, I hit the pavement hard and fast, too fast and with poor form. The running expert I bought the shoes from told me to carefully incorporate the new strategies and the shoes into my routine by 10% each week until I was in them completely. I didn't listen and decided since I had to take so much time off for the 'flu', I could just start from scratch. Ha! Running in the new shoes all the time and overdoing the 'natural' thing, I over corrected for the heel striking and ended up running more on my forefoot than my mid-foot. This caused horrible shin splints and calf pain. More time off, more frustration. During this time I would look through my training log and long to be running again. I also spent a lot of time in running magazines and web sites, wishing and hoping. Anyway, in my obsessiveness, I noticed my times in the new shoes were horribly slow. The chi people say running naturally should increase your speed and efficiency. Ugh. I'm doing something else wrong.

New plan. How about the middle of the road?

Hybrid, natural supportive shoes, and steady slow progression back from illness and injury.

These are the most expensive shoes I have ever purchased without a 4-6 inch heel. I've begun to have day-mares that I'm turning into the little old lady in orthotics, buying shoes based on comfort not style. Imagine cold sweats and loss of appetite. Just me overreacting. I think they're pretty stylish actually, and let me tell you, I love them!

No specialty running store this time. I went to try these on at one of those giant sporting goods stores, but ultimately bought them online. I got the brand I loved (like the ones I had before the blisters) and a more natural, low drop shoe. The best of both worlds, and I'm faster and healthier than ever.

I incorporated much of what the chi running expert told me, but ultimately I run the way I feel most comfortable running. I try to lean forward, keep my feet under me, and land mid-foot with a bent knee, but mostly I just run and enjoy the fact that I can.

I'm still very far behind in my training, and I don't know if I'll be able to do 13.1 miles come race day (will only be up to 9-10 miles by then). However, I'm sure I'm on the right track to enjoying running, pain free and healthy.

Some other things that have helped are coconut water (natural hydration helping me avoid headaches after my long runs), foam rolling my legs every day, and active isolated flexibility/stretching a few times a week.

I'll let you know how the half marathon goes. I can tell you no matter how embarrassing my time, I'll be slapping that 13.1 sticker on the back window of my car with pride. Next goal, 26.2!

*Note: Look for another post on the half marathon. Illness, injury and the inability to reach my training goals might cause me to postpone it until November or just skip it altogether in favor of going ahead and crossing the full marathon off my bucket list.

Running for my Life

Have you heard about the Oxygen Mask Project? It was started by a few special needs moms applying the airplane oxygen mask principle to their daily lives and attempting to encourage other parents to do the same. You know the one, that you have to put your own mask on before you can help your children or anyone else with you. In order to properly care for our families, we have to care for our selves first. Our spiritual and physical well being isn't something to be pushed aside for everyone around us, but something we should tend to carefully and purposefully.

Those of you who know me well, know that I'm extremely undisciplined and OCD at the same time. Not a good combination for mental and physical health. I have two speeds, "I'll get to it when I get to it" and "Oh, NO, they'll be here in 10 minutes I have to wash the windows!" I've figured out if I could just find that happy medium between the two speeds, my life would be much less hectic. How do you do that? By adding one discipline at a time until it's a habit and building on those disciplines until you have a good routine. Well, that's what I've been told. I'll let you know how all that goes when I reach that level of enlightenment. In the mean time, I'm making an attempt to apply the oxygen mask principle in my life and acting on a strong new conviction for maintaining my physical health.

I'm quite ashamed lately at just how out of shape I let myself get. Now, you wouldn't have really known I was unhealthy from the outside. I'm one of those naturally skinny people that other people like to hate. It's genetic. My mom was always thin. Her sister was always thin. My brothers are skinny. Most of my cousins on my mom's side are super skinny. My doctor husband swears I have some kind of thyroid problem, but has yet to find any evidence of that besides a few incidental symptoms and the fact that I can pretty much eat whatever I want and not be as big as a house. Here's the thing though. You don't have to look fat to be UNhealthy, and you don't have to look skinny to BE healthy. It's not about the outside. It's about the inside. Sound familiar? Jesus had something to say about the power of the mind and the inner man. In God's eyes, lust is equal with adultery, rage is equal with murder, etc. He chastised the religious elite of his day for washing the outside of the cup and ignoring the filth on the inside. I've been quite surprised at the parallels between physical fitness and spiritual fitness lately. More on that in a bit.

I had deteriorated into weak and helpless or, as I like to call it, skinny fat. You hear people say all the time that you never know how valuable your health is until you lose it. Well, I want to cherish that gift. I want to be real physically and spiritually. I want to know that I will be around in my best condition to care for my children into their adulthood, specifically Jackson, should that take more than the usual 18 years. I don't want to just LOOK healthy because I'm skinny. I want to BE healthy, inside and out. So, putting on my oxygen mask and taking care of my own physical well being, I started making some changes.

My husband bought me a treadmill (I would say he bought US a treadmill, but he's only used it twice), and I got started. I cut out ALL sugar from my diet (except for vitamin water and protein bars when I ran), and began a walk-a-little, run-a-little beginner's program. It was awesome! I felt so productive and cool, and I was doing really well until I got to the part where the running time started exceeding the walking time. That's when the trouble started. My shins started to hurt. I pushed through and kept up with the program. Three times a week, 30 minutes a session. Then the pain got so bad I could hardly walk after. My husband said it was probably just the muscles rather than shin splints or anything serious. They were just not used to all the activity. I was a little offended at the idea, but I used it as an excuse to buy new shoes and pushed through (new shoes make everything better). He was right. My legs were just that weak. Then my knees started hurting the same kind of way, nearly unbearable, even on my off days. At this point, my mental fortitude started to crumble. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this. Maybe I should find something else to do, something easier." Somehow I kept pushing through. I just wasn't ready to give up yet. I wasn't ready to say I had failed, AGAIN, at yet another thing. I got up to 2 miles a session only walking to warm up and cool down (bringing the total mileage to 3 miles a session). Then I got bored. What am I supposed to do for 30 minutes three times a week while my body is screaming at me to stop this craziness and go have some pie? I figured out I could read while I ran, awesome! Then I decided I would have to buy all large print books for that because it was just too hard to read while I was bouncing up and down. Maybe my eye sight is failing in my old age. Then I figured out how to run while surfing pinterest or watching tv. That helped for a little while, but I just couldn't get used to the new format. Television and internet are activities best enjoyed while sitting on the couch or comfy desk chair, preferably eating a yummy snack. Of course I tried music, audio books and sermons, but I just couldn't figure out how to keep my mind focused while my body did what I told it to do. Running outside hasn't worked out since the only times I can really do that is before my husband leaves for work or later when everyone is settled at night, and my paranoid husband thinks someone is going to kidnap me if I do that. So, the treadmill is it for me.

I thought this was supposed to be fun. People run for fun, right? For that runners high? Things are harder when you can't agree with yourself. I started slowing down. Struggling with every session. I had been doing yoga longer than I had been running, and I started to think maybe that was more my speed. I had added strength training to my routine, and was enjoying the fruits of that labor. (My arms look awesome!) I tried jumping rope. Oh my! That's not a good idea for a woman who has had three kids and is extremely out of shape. I will spare you the details, but I will say my twelve year old self would have been rolling on the ground busting a gut laughing at my 29+ year old self attempting that routine. I kind of wish I had a camera rolling. I could have won some kind of reality show prize, seriously! Somehow, I kept running, and somewhere in the middle of all this, my knees stopped hurting. Yay! I then started struggling with my left hip, complications from an injury during my first pregnancy. Are you kidding me? Really? Is the pain just going to creep up my body one joint group at a time? What is going on?

My new diet wasn't cutting it, either. I NEEDED sugar! I had no energy, and was really struggling by the end of the day. Severe fatigue and headache by about 6pm. If sugar is a no-no, then what am I supposed to eat to reach the caloric intake I need to maintain my weight while increasing my activity? I give up. Give me CANDY! No, wait. Maybe I can balance this out. So, we're back to my original thought process in figuring out Jackson's diet. Sugar is NOT the enemy, especially with moderation and proper portioning. No junk does not necessarily mean no sugar. Then I pulled a muscle, not while I was running actually. That was all I needed to just completely melt down. I'm trying SO hard, and I'm eating right while my husband enjoys his ice cream and junk food and has somehow lost 12 pounds just mowing the grass and not eating fast food. It's not fair. Now what am I supposed to do?

This is when God hit me with more parallels between the physical and spiritual realness I was after.

1. Making the inside of my body match the outside is going to take time, and it's going to hurt, apparently a LOT.
Parallel: Making the life I'm living a reflection of my heart's condition rather than the screen I use to keep everyone from seeing the real condition of my heart is going to take time, and it's going to hurt, probably a LOT more than all this healthy stuff is going to hurt my body.

2. I'm not an athletic person. I've never been an athletic person. My body is going to go through a period of shock as I try to add these new activities in my life, especially having waited SO late in my life to begin this new lifestyle.
Parallel: I'm not a disciplined person. I've never been a disciplined person. My heart is going to go through a period of shock as I try to add new spiritual disciplines in my life, especially having waited SO long to begin this new lifestyle.

That doesn't mean it isn't worth it.

Tomorrow I plan to run again for the first time in nearly four weeks. Hopefully, this muscle has healed and I can get back into my original routine, and hopefully, I can use my future running experiences to fuel more spiritual discovery.

One of my favorite quotes:

"You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." - C.S. Lewis

I want to push my body to it's limits. I want to experience how health feels when you earn it. I want to push my spirit to it's limits as well. I want to remove the weights and hindrances that hold me back from experiencing abundant life, the kind earned for me on Calvary. I can't help but feel like they're intertwined right now, my physical health and my spiritual health. So, I feel like I'm running for my life. It would be nice if I could figure out a way to make running spiritual WHILE I'm doing it, but so far the only prayers I can get out sound like "Oh, God, it hurts. Help me." Things like that. We'll see. The thing I need to push for right now is perseverance, something I've lacked my whole life. Gotta stick it out, and see where I am when this race is over.

Note: I wrote this post last night, but somehow it didn't post before I signed out. So, I'll just go ahead and tell you that my run this morning was awesome! It did start hurting again, the pulled muscle. More of a tightness than a pain. So, I quit at a mile and a half, but it felt SO good! That plus my strength training, and I'm feeling like I can conquer the world again. To quote a little fish I have always felt a strong connection with, "just keep swimming, just keep swimming." Or, in my case, just keep running. The race isn't over until you meet your Savior face to face; so, just keep going.