I haven't blogged in a while. There's lots going on in my life and my kitchen, but the energy and time to put it out there in a way you might want to read it, it's just not there. I am journaling and reading, and I will often think to myself, "I need to share that." However, nothing ever seems to get typed, and if it does, somehow sharing doesn't feel right by the time I get to the end of the post. There have been several posts I decided to just save for another day.
So, to sum all that up. I'm stuck. Pretty much the same place I was when this post was written. That was 3 years ago. I've struggled more with this birthday than any before. I think partly because I'm still dealing with many of the same things that I've been struggling with since childhood. I feel like I should be so much farther along than I am. Seriously, if I were a baby failing to develop and grow, there would be panic. I know all about that kind of panic with Jackson's developmental delays. But, see when you're a grown up, and the delay is spiritual, you can hide it all by simply going through the motions and smiling. Just laugh every now and then, say something spiritual and profound once in a while, and everyone thinks you're doing great. I also think I'm struggling with this birthday because being stuck like I am, I'm reminiscing and thinking about my childhood and the person I wanted to be and the things I wanted to do. I was gonna change the world, Y'all, and somehow 30 some odd years seemed like plenty of time to do it. Oh, to have that kind of imaginative faith again.
Life comes in seasons, and I know that this, too, shall pass. And, when it does, I'll let you know.
Anyway, back to the point of this post.
I'm reading several books right now. One is Running The Edge by Adam Goucher and Tim Catalano. I bought it because I read Olympic marathoner Kara Goucher's book Running for Women and LOVED it! I kinda thought her husband's book would be just as good. Well, it's a little heavy on the psychology and humanistic philosophy for me, but not a bad read. I prefer runners to write about running, but you know, I'm weird like that. Anyway, there are some really great points and stories inside. Today I read a quote that really spoke to me, and I thought I would share it for my birthday. (One day late. Shh.)
"Among the crypts in Westminster Abbey, there is an inscription on the tomb of an Anglican bishop.
"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.
But it, too, seemed immovable.
As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.
And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family.
From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world."
I love this inscription, and will now add my thirty-something-whipper-snapper thoughts on it. To truly change the world you have to start with yourself, and focus on being obedient to the One who created you and the calling he gave you. I think there would be many more world changers among us if we would let Him change us BEFORE we try to conquer the world. Otherwise, you just get discouraged and burnt out....and stuck.
