"I need a man's potty."

So, we had to potty at the mall today. We often have to potty in public. I hate it when we have to use a public restroom, but it's been this way since I started potty training my oldest son (now 8). This has resulted in my knowing all the best restrooms in our area, and several on popular interstate routes.

I am no longer surprised when the conversation begins. "Mom, I've got to go to the restroom." "Honey, can it wait?" "No, I have to poop." This child has single handedly cured me of my public restroom phobia. Now I just chant to myself the whole time. "This won't kill us. People do this all the time and survive. I can do this." There are many memories of my children's early lives that have seemed to fade over time. That's code for my psyche intentionally blocking them from my mind so I can continue to move forward and love them with that irrational, all-consuming love that drives me to do what I do for them every day. Case and point, how many mothers do you know that recount their birthing stories with horror? Oh, no. They're all neatly coated in fuzzy happiness because all the pain and struggle gets lost in those beautiful, gunky, squished up faces.

These lovely public restroom situations would be among the blocked chunks of time for me. This is due to the fact that they mostly contain me reluctantly entering this dreaded place lugging my infant daughter in a carrier, my autistic son, Jackson, who was horrified by all the sights, sounds and smells, and this little guy whose bowels only seemed to move in public. I did my best to control Jackson's screaming while keeping my oldest from touching anything he did not absolutely have to touch all the while managing the carrier and diaper bag. I'm getting chills just thinking about it. Things are easier now. Jackson can handle it. My daughter is older and potty training, too. It is generally not a struggle anymore.

...What a glorious day it will be when ALL of my children are out of diapers and pull-ups and asking to go potty in the most inconvenient places....

This time, I made them go into the family restroom so they could all go together and I could be with them. I know it's a little paranoid, but germs and crazy people are everywhere, Y'all. Besides, the men's room was all the way down a hall and opposite the lady's room. There's no way I'm sending my two boys in there without me. This was super embarrassing for my 8 year old who thinks he's big enough to do everything on his own. Upon opening the door we saw a changing table, one small potty, one large potty, one small sink and one large sink. My 3 year old daughter, who can find excitement in the drying of paint, details what she sees out loud with great delight. Jackson goes straight for the little potty, and has his pants down before I can shut the door. Realizing it was too small for him. he then exclaims loud enough for the whole mall to hear (the door is still open, darn hydraulic hinges), "I need a man's potty," and moves to the larger toilet beside him. Meanwhile, I get the door shut and locked and my daughter decides to go all by herself. Her hands are all over the tiny little commode. I see the concentration face and begin to panic. "Not here." I keep repeating to myself. "This won't kill us. I CAN do this. I'll just make sure she washes her hands really good." My 8 year old suddenly decides he doesn't have to poop after all. Besides, it is super embarrassing to go INTO the bathroom with your mom and little sister. Bored with the whole thing, he decides to put his brother in a head lock while he's washing his hands. Water and screaming all around. They are now tussling and I start panicking that they might end up on the floor.

What happens if mom has a public meltdown due to sensory overload? Hopefully, I'll never know. Someone tries to open the door. I'm trying to break up the fight. My daughter shouts, "coming!" And tries to open the door with her pants still down (the concentration face was a false alarm, thank goodness). I start scrambling to figure out how I would explain the scene to a local DFACS officer, while having flashbacks of earlier times. I begin to remember why I rarely left the house for a huge chunk of Jackson's early years.

Mustering up my quick-as-lightening mom reflexes, I stopped my daughter from opening the door, broke up the fight, and got us out of there mostly dry and clean. Emerging victorious and feeling like super mom, we then move on to the carousel as if everything about what just occurred in that tiny little room was completely normal.

I then laugh to myself when the thought of blogging this came to my mind. This desire, to not only record this memory before my brain can force it into the section of my brain I never use but to share it with the world, is quite strange, maybe even insane. But, the best part, the pies de resistance, came later.

We have a bedtime tradition of asking the kids to share their favorite part of the day. I think it started as an attempt to cause them to think about something they could be thankful for every day, but it has morphed into a one-up tournament, most nights anyway. Tonight, though, when I asked my daughter what her favorite part of the day was, she exclaimed with great delight, "going to the bathroom at the mall."

So, on those days when you feel like they should post a sign outside your house that says looney bin, maybe you can think of this post and remember, normal is just a setting on the dryer.

The End Is Near

The end has come....for the 2012 election, that is. It's over, finally. No more ads or political telemarketing. No more celebrities jumping on one band wagon or another. For this I am very thankful. However, the end of the election has sparked the beginning of something else, doom.

There is nothing like the election or re-election of a liberal President to bring out the doomsday prophets. My Facebook news feed was immediately filled with all kinds of angry and fearful posts about how this is the end of the US and probably the world. Well, some of those posts were from friends up in Sandy's path, and for them, it probably really did look like the end of the world. I had one friend posting about how eerie it was to see New York City dark and how she was fully expecting to see zombies come out of the deserted buildings and try to eat her. Maybe she watches too many horror films, but I digress.

The depression and disillusionment of so many Americans, particularly conservative Christians, was palpable in the days following the election, and is still very tangible even now. I live in the conservative South, and it felt like it was almost in the air or the water or something. The sadness seemed to fuel the theories. I've heard all kinds from Obama is the anti-christ to Obama is working with Al Qaeda to destroy us from within. I didn't see the movie 2016, but I've heard all about it, more so after the election than before. There's talk of demonic activity in our government, the old Illuminati conspiracy theories, and more practically, the inevitable collapse of our economy. Now, I'm not going to tell you who I voted for, or where I tend to lean on some of these theories, but I will say that I feel very strongly that in the eternal scope of things, for those of us who believe in God and Jesus, it isn't the end of the world, even if it is the end of this world.

Even if the last days, prophesied for thousands of years, are actually upon us.... even if we are facing the possible revoking of our right to worship God as we see fit.... even if things do progress to something similar to the days of Nero when Christian men, women and children were fed to Lions for the entertainment of the 'civilized' Roman people.... even if we do find ourselves in another depression that creates a national famine.... none of this changes who we are and what we've been called to do.

"But now thus says the LORD, he who created you....He who formed you.... "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." James 1:27

"O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:8

I particularly like Micah 6:8. It's so simple. Yes, we should seek justice in our homes, our churches and our government, but true justice will not come to this Earth by any human hand. And, I'm very thankful I will not receive justice but mercy from that Hand. I want to extend the mercy and kindness I was given by my God to those around me. If the times do get dark, how much brighter the Light will shine.

We are not called to fear the times in which we live, but to trust the God who put us here. Take heart in the stories of those who have come before us, those who suffered and must have believed the end of this world was upon them, too. I often look at the life I've been given and wonder to myself, why me, why now? Why wasn't I born into a time when living out my beliefs meant being burned at the steak or stoned to death? Why wasn't I born in a time of great revival and church growth? I don't know if I'll get the answer to that question in this life, but I know that if I can't trust the God who put me here, then I can't trust anything. Even if my idea of the perfect president is elected and everything is going the way I think it should, if my God is not in control, then I have nothing.

Now, Lord willing, I intend to enjoy the Holiday season, plan my next trip to Disney, train for a half-marathon, help my children grow and develop into healthy, happy adults. I intend to see them go to college, get married and have children of their own. I intend to enjoy the life I've been given by loving my God and the people He has placed in my life, by walking humbly with Him and offering kindness and mercy to everyone I can. All the rest, the details, the things that are out of my control, all that is up to Him, and I trust Him completely.

So, Happy Thanksgiving! Let's ditch the doom and gloom and be thankful for our God, our Country, our families, and our lives. Let's thank God for the food we will spread out on our dining room tables, for the souls that will gather to eat it with us whether connected by blood or another bond, and for each breath He allows us to take. For those who know Him, there will never be an end. The feast will continue with Him for eternity. Thank you, thank you, Jesus.